This Might Make You Laugh. Nevermind.

I've been spending a lot of time with guys lately. And I'm enjoying it a whole lot to say the least. I really miss spending time with guys. For a long time, I pushed them all away. I've had a lot of unhealthy issues with them because of past stuff but I've been through a lot of healing since then. I think this is a breakthrough. I'm learning to trust them more and believe that there are good guys out there.

That wasn't funny but this might be. Actually, the funny part will come later.

People think I'm not a physical, touchy person. They think I don't like hugs either. This isn't true at all. There was a time when I hugged people a lot and was very playful with them. Over time, this changed and I slowly became closed off to any physical affection. I've gotten to the point where I do love hugs but I won't give them unless the other person asks for one. Maybe it's a slight insecurity thing and not wanting someone to feel like they have to give me a hug. But when I  do get hugs, I LOVE THEM! So hug away, you just have to hold your arms open, haha.

I find that I don't enjoy hugs with guys. Hugs are like puzzle pieces and there are certain people that "fit" just right. Guys and I don't fit. I have a few assumptions as to why and one of them is that fact that my boobs are well....not small. So when we hug, it's just like....oww. Yet with girls it's different because you find the perfect place to kind of criss cross your chests as to make this issue not occur. Anyway, I wish this wasn't the case but I love hugging girls more, lol. I do like hugging guys, it's just different, haha. That was supposed to be the funny part. It wasn't a joke though so you're probably not laughing. I'm laughing at myself now.

Side Note: tonight I got to spend some time with a guy that I've had a very interesting relationship with. It's quite the story but I'm not going to get into that. Anyway, it was so nice to actually spend time with him. We spent a lot of time apart because he left this school and did some other things and came back. I'd see him in passing and we'd chat but never got together to hang out again. Tonight, we were at Blackbird doing work and I wanted him to see my bike because he knows everything about them. I asked him if he'd help me fix some things. He came over and we talked about what we're going to do with it and I said it'd be best if we did it in the morning because it was dark. So I just invited him in to watch Inception with me. It was a good time!! He really enjoyed the movie. He hadn't seen it before. So it's pretty awesome and I get to see him again tomorrow and he's going to teach me how to dismantle my bike and add new hardware :) I'm really excited about it because I love building and fixing stuff. I'm still the tomboy from my childhood. I love it!!

Goodnight!! <3