To Give or Not To Give, That Is the Question

A couple of days ago, Jay came up to me and asked for some "change." I usually say I don't have any because honestly, I don't carry change but also because I know he lives with his mother and I know he could be saving his money instead of just spending it. Actually, I don't know what he does with his money. He could give it to his mom. Who knows...but I just feel like after all the years he's been on the streets, he needs to start trying to take the opportunities he has to work. He knows everyone in Milledgeville and people have given him that option. So I just don't want to be handing him money all the time.

This time though, I gave him about 3 bucks. I didn't even think about it, I was just like sure, heck, why not? Maybe it was because I was in a really good mood. Anyway, ever since then, he's been coming to me for money thinking that just because I gave him the 3 bucks the other day that I'll keep giving him money. I'm too good for that and I'm not afraid to tell him no.

He just came up to me and asked me for change and I said I didn't have any. Then he came into Blackbird five minutes later and asked me to buy him a cookie and I said, no. The thing is, I want to give him money and buy him food so bad but because I know he'll get it from someone else and because I know he's not going to save it, I don't want to do that for him. I also don't want him to expect me to give him change every time he asks. It hurts to say no to him but I have to do it. I couldn't imagine how different it would be if it was my family member constantly coming to me asking for change if they were homeless.

There was a time I went home to CA to see my dad and he has a smoking problem. He pretty much begged me to buy him some cigarettes and at that point in my life they disgusted me and I hated seeing my dad so addicted to something like that. But because I loved him and understood his withdrawals, I gave in and bought them. Although, I've changed my ways since then, I won't do that now. He'll survive. Jay will survive too.