What's Your Definition of "Home?"

Many people close their blinds at night, yet I pull them completely open. It allows me to fall asleep to my favorite light and wake up to the sun shining on my face. Which is the one feeling that makes me feel like "home." Not the feeling of being home, just a type of security and trust.

When I was younger, I took all of my naps near the window so that I could fall asleep to the warmth on my back. With the California weather, I took these kinds of naps fairly often. Naps were one of my favorite childhood past times. Yet there is a particular memory that ceases to fade.

During preschool, I was dropped off at a daycare. There were nature trails near it and we would all go as a group and the caregiver would take us for walks. We would see lizards and bunnies. The trail even had a specific smell that I find gets triggered at different moments in my life. I can remember it vividly. When we would return from our walk, we would lay our blankets out inside of the daycare to nap. I always chose the glass doors to the backyard because the sun shined straight through onto my heavenly napping place. Although, that wasn't my favorite part. My favorite part was being woken up by the tapping on the glass. Waking up in a state of vulnerability and comfort and seeing my father's smiling face just outside of the window. When my father smiles, it isn't just a smile, he smiles like a child who just received the best gift of his life, the gift he's always been asking for. An exaggerated excitement. I woke up to that every Monday-Friday until Kindergarden.

As I've gotten older, I've stopped intentionally taking my naps in the sun. So when I find myself waking up to the sun shining through the window and onto my face, it doesn't upset me, it wakes me up with the best feeling of "home" I could ever experience and it can never be replaced.