Being Placed In a Box

I've been in Blackbird since about 12:30pm. It is now 8:15pm.

A lot of people say I live here. Sometimes people say it so much that I wish I wasn't here all the time. I don't like the fact that people know where to find me if they need me. It stems from another aspect that I don't like very much, when people figure me out. I think everybody has a part of that in them. We all want to be unique but I want to be so unique that people say "I just can't get what your expression means," or "If I had to guess where you were right now, I'd have no clue," or get specific questions about me wrong because their always changing. I guess I don't really like consistency when it comes to my personality. I really LOVE change. Mostly for the good though. Change can be bad but I don't seem to like change in bad ways other than the fact I can't live in one place for more than a year without getting depressed about being there. I'm not really sure why.

For example, there was this one time that I told my friends I was pregnant and they didn't believe me (of course) but I hated the fact that they automatically assumed I wasn't, as if they knew me so well. I mean, I'm not a perfect person, I could have accidentally gotten pregnant. So I had this disgusting thought in my head to go out and get pregnant just to make their mouths a gape. It was a silly thought.

I just don't want to be put in a box and I don't want to put other people in a box. Another example: just because a person is religious and goes to church and reads their bible, does not mean that they won't get pregnant or that they won't be arrested, that they won't drink too much, or do drugs. This is why the stereotypical Christian is called hypocritical. We place people in this boxes with specific rules and expectations and we're let down. I don't want to do that and I don't want people to do it to me. This happens so much with everyone. The religious comment is just a good example of this.