Nostalgia

In the day by day collision

Called the art of growing up

There's an innocence we look for in the stars

To be taken back to younger days

When there was no giving up

On the people we held closest to our hearts

- Blue October: Razorblade

Do you ever meet a person and say to yourself, "I'll never give up on you, I'll never judge you, I'll never leave you?" Because you know you've given up on people before. Maybe because you felt like you could never get along with them, that you just didn't "connect", or they did something to stab you in the back. Or because you know people have given up on you and have left you behind on the side of the road as they drove off on their way to freedom and happiness with your OTHER friends. 

We've all been there. Some worse than others. It's pretty true when people say that what we hate in other people we hate in ourselves. I'd like to constantly remember that everyone needs to be loved, everyone is different and I can relate to anyone if I find the niche and give it time. We all have something in common. I want to give people the chance to be themselves and love them for it. I want people to do the same for me. Nobody's perfect. 

I love these lyrics which I took apart from the rest of the song because the rest didn't relate to what I wanted to say. I have been thinking about these things a bunch lately. About wishing for the innocence of youth or for not having many worries besides breaking your leg or getting in trouble for stealing gummy bears from the store. 

When friends were the people you lived by or went to school with. You never had a choice to who was your friend. You were friends with everyone for the most part. You were too young to worry about keeping or losing relationships. Boyfriends and girlfriends were really your best friends and there was no such thing as commitment or FOREVER. Your friends never expected anything from you. The secrets we kept buried were about the people we had little crushes on or the jokes we made about our friends behind their backs or the pranks we created but never did. 

I want to go back to the days when my dad would get upset because I had grass stains on my pants, when I ran to catch up to the ice cream man, and when I'd scooter everywhere because that was my only transportation. When I hated school but it was actually really easy. When kissing your friend was like the worst thing you could do. When the only thing you remember was the sun rising and the sun setting. Morning and night. Happiness and delight. 

Let's go back, but let's go forward. Let's not give up on each other, but we gave up on each other. I love you, but I don't love you.