"No, it's not going to hurt. Don't be such a baby. Be a man!"..... "Yes, it will!! It's a boo-boo just like when I was a kid. I'd get in the shower and it'd burn like heck." Then I realized I was having a conversation .... with myself. No, this isn't the first time I've made this recognition. Although, it is the first time I've decided to dwell more on it's complexities, than usual. At one point, I even said, "Natalie and I aren't going to do that anymore." I said it in my head which almost made it three people.
Why do we talk out loud in our minds? Why can I hear my voice when it's not being used literally? It's interesting how we can remember voices. When I think about certain people and things they've said or something they write me, I read it as they would say it. Their personalities are so evident in the way the speak. I really enjoy that. Though, I have my own voice in my head, which isn't actually my voice. It's the interpretation of my voice along with the echo inside my head. That's why when we actually hear ourselves through a video and wonder why we don't actually sound like we think we do, we get confused. When we talk, it causes a vibration in our head so we're actually hearing mixed sounds. You probably already knew that.
I was just so flabbergasted by the thought of having a conversation with myself. How could I have contradicting opinions and views. How could I debate with myself? We do it everyday though, through the choices we make, etc. Technically, I don't necessarily believe in two opposing views, I'm just talking through the negative and positives of both. Maybe I do this more than others. I tend to side with both sides of any argument. I put myself in both shoes and find understand in both and a misunderstanding in both. Same as the good and bad in all things. It keeps me from getting upset as well. That's also probably why I'm the mediator in my family and sometimes my friends. It's quite entertaining to listen to myself argue with myself. I think it's great. It doesn't happen out loud that often though. Usually I don't even know I'm doing it. So today, it was extra obvious. Maybe it's all the vitamins I'm taking. I've been taking Ginkgo Biloba which helps more blood get to your brain, increasing the oxygenation to your brain and supposedly helping your memory. Thing is, there's actually no research to back up the memory part but from nursing school, I know that getting blood to your brain is a huge part of health, thinking, growing and healing of the brain.
Did you know there are vitamins to lift your mood? Yep, go check 'em out. I've never used them, but if you are interested, they are there.
END.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Who Knew Blessings Could Come From Anti-Diarrheals
The only noises I hear, are my feet constantly shuffling from aisle to aisle, and the long, drawn out sighs from my dry mouth. Six hours of treading rubber to and fro, then up and down, stocking Kroger merchandise. My job is very intelligible and tedious. Stock shelf, open box, stock shelf, organize, pace...back and forth. This goes on for about eight hours straight. On occasion, a customer will inquire about where to find some laxatives, a specific vitamin, or sometimes, like today, a young lady asked me if we sold underwear. Obviously, I don't stock the entire store. I work in the OTC area. Which means that 99% of the customers that enter the vicinity of my work space are, yes, the elderly.
Let me first enlighten you about the important aspect about my job, timing. We were recently hounded about not getting our "productivity" finished on time. Before every stocking experience, we are given boxes and totes with merchandise and a dreadful paper that tells us an incredibly impossible amount of time the boxes and the totes should be emptied. This is our "productivity" time limit. We were also notified that if we cannot meet these ridiculous expectations, we are given warnings, "progressive discipline," the manager says. He even had the audacity to turn to me and ask in a southern accent, "do you know what progressive discipline is?" Yes, I do live in the south, but any average person, with a high school degree, should know what 'progressive' and 'discipline' are and be able to put those two together to get what it means.
I digress, returning to the blue totes, the laxatives and the fear of getting older. I find myself stuck between a ticking clock (which I can't stand) and a precious wrinkled face that can't seem to stop moving it's lips. We've all been here before. The awkward moment when an older person talks like they've had no human contact in years. Who've gotten tired of conversing with their dog, Ginger, realizing the dog never speaks with it's mouth, only it's eyes. So far, I've only encountered woman who have this characteristic. Not to say they are the only ones who like to talk, but I find that older men would rather just keep their mouths shut. I think they've realized over the years that the woman always do the talking. Even though my mind tells me to be annoyed and keep working, to get them to leave me alone, I never do. Not because I find it disrespectful, which it is, but because I realize that they really do need people to talk to. Insanity is not far from anyone's mind, whether old or young. This is besides the point though.
The other day, a woman approached me in an automatic wheelchair. You know the kind the store provides for people with disabilities to use? Well, I wanted to help her because it's not easy to grab lower items off the shelf when using one of those contraptions. She was looking for anti-diarrheals. She said, "I need these because the antibiotics that the hospital gave me, just tear me up." I responded with the same response I use anytime someone says something that could make them uncomfortable, I said, "oh, I completely understand. I'm a nursing student." She stopped and looked at me and said, "well, I was a nurse for over twenty years." "Oh, that's fantastic to hear, " I said. She inquired about my current schooling. I mentioned that I failed out of nursing school and that I'm taking the semester off and returning for my public health degree, etc, etc. She stopped me and said something that threw me off. She simply said she had failed out too, long ago. The words came out of her mouth like smooth butter to bread. As if it was no big deal, just a fork in the road, a small stepping stone. She continued the conversation by saying something I tend to tell a multitude of people, "you know, I tend to have a hunch about people. I'm not always right, but I have pretty good feelings when it comes to people and I look at your face and I see a great nurse. I know you'll be a wonderful nurse. When I look at you, I can see it in your face. You WILL be a great nurse." It blew me away. What an encouraging thing to say. It lit the spark that had once burnt in my soul and digressed into a small ember.
It reminded me of the days before nursing school when I always said I would never work with geriatric patients. For the longest time, I thought I could never relate to them. I tried and it never worked out for me. I couldn't even get along with my own grandmother. Once nursing school started, I spent more and more time with them. During some of their most vulnerable times and sat and talked with them. They always had the most insightful and wisest things to say. I finally began to relate to them and I'm in a place now where I would gladly work with the elderly. This experience also reminded me why it's important to never neglect someone, even if they annoy you or interrupt your work, because they may have something to tell you that you need to hear, or that you never would have learned without them. One person can change your whole day. You can also change their day by spending time talking to them or encouraging them in some way. Anger, frustration, and impatience interfere with blessings, love, and gifts that we could be receiving. It's easier said then done, but I hope these words remind you to be thankful for the strangers around you, and also the people in your life that love you and want the best for you.
Let me first enlighten you about the important aspect about my job, timing. We were recently hounded about not getting our "productivity" finished on time. Before every stocking experience, we are given boxes and totes with merchandise and a dreadful paper that tells us an incredibly impossible amount of time the boxes and the totes should be emptied. This is our "productivity" time limit. We were also notified that if we cannot meet these ridiculous expectations, we are given warnings, "progressive discipline," the manager says. He even had the audacity to turn to me and ask in a southern accent, "do you know what progressive discipline is?" Yes, I do live in the south, but any average person, with a high school degree, should know what 'progressive' and 'discipline' are and be able to put those two together to get what it means.
I digress, returning to the blue totes, the laxatives and the fear of getting older. I find myself stuck between a ticking clock (which I can't stand) and a precious wrinkled face that can't seem to stop moving it's lips. We've all been here before. The awkward moment when an older person talks like they've had no human contact in years. Who've gotten tired of conversing with their dog, Ginger, realizing the dog never speaks with it's mouth, only it's eyes. So far, I've only encountered woman who have this characteristic. Not to say they are the only ones who like to talk, but I find that older men would rather just keep their mouths shut. I think they've realized over the years that the woman always do the talking. Even though my mind tells me to be annoyed and keep working, to get them to leave me alone, I never do. Not because I find it disrespectful, which it is, but because I realize that they really do need people to talk to. Insanity is not far from anyone's mind, whether old or young. This is besides the point though.
The other day, a woman approached me in an automatic wheelchair. You know the kind the store provides for people with disabilities to use? Well, I wanted to help her because it's not easy to grab lower items off the shelf when using one of those contraptions. She was looking for anti-diarrheals. She said, "I need these because the antibiotics that the hospital gave me, just tear me up." I responded with the same response I use anytime someone says something that could make them uncomfortable, I said, "oh, I completely understand. I'm a nursing student." She stopped and looked at me and said, "well, I was a nurse for over twenty years." "Oh, that's fantastic to hear, " I said. She inquired about my current schooling. I mentioned that I failed out of nursing school and that I'm taking the semester off and returning for my public health degree, etc, etc. She stopped me and said something that threw me off. She simply said she had failed out too, long ago. The words came out of her mouth like smooth butter to bread. As if it was no big deal, just a fork in the road, a small stepping stone. She continued the conversation by saying something I tend to tell a multitude of people, "you know, I tend to have a hunch about people. I'm not always right, but I have pretty good feelings when it comes to people and I look at your face and I see a great nurse. I know you'll be a wonderful nurse. When I look at you, I can see it in your face. You WILL be a great nurse." It blew me away. What an encouraging thing to say. It lit the spark that had once burnt in my soul and digressed into a small ember.
It reminded me of the days before nursing school when I always said I would never work with geriatric patients. For the longest time, I thought I could never relate to them. I tried and it never worked out for me. I couldn't even get along with my own grandmother. Once nursing school started, I spent more and more time with them. During some of their most vulnerable times and sat and talked with them. They always had the most insightful and wisest things to say. I finally began to relate to them and I'm in a place now where I would gladly work with the elderly. This experience also reminded me why it's important to never neglect someone, even if they annoy you or interrupt your work, because they may have something to tell you that you need to hear, or that you never would have learned without them. One person can change your whole day. You can also change their day by spending time talking to them or encouraging them in some way. Anger, frustration, and impatience interfere with blessings, love, and gifts that we could be receiving. It's easier said then done, but I hope these words remind you to be thankful for the strangers around you, and also the people in your life that love you and want the best for you.
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